The Doctor, Part 19

Haunting my life
walking by the edge of a river
I might not see in a year,
I am a ghost,
hoping,

there is a monster inside of me
and cancer is like the worst love:

thrust
into
possible futures,
the pain,
the unexpected, prolonged, complete
agony of a broken heart
a fairly even match
for the awful chemicals
gargling my organs,

when the pain is
everywhere
you live again and again
like the victim of a terrible accident
mapping routes
like ghosts get
a next time
to avoid certain tragedy,
to avoid
I can’t change that right now
destiny.

The entire The Doctor series of poems can be found here.