The Doctor, Part 25

Already
deadly
rabbit white
my skin burns
faster now
so I am supposed to
refrain
from
walking in the sun,

the heat an hour away
I called my mother
who asked how I was
I said I’m walking along the river
she said
wiseass
I said
I think I might die
because it was
top
of mind,
I was working my way
through a short tail
of a cold kind of
PTSD
and I couldn’t stop
thinking
the Creepiest Thought,

the shawl she knit
over the phone
was made with a very
fine-tuned,
practiced pattern
colored with splashes
of WASP denial:

we’re all
going to die
she Jedi-ed,

I inserted
but I mean
maybe soon,
sooner
than I had perhaps
planned or
hoped,

she comforted,
I think about that sometimes,
what if I
or anyone
gets hit
by a truck
or a car
while crossing the street
one day?,

I told her
I have the license plate
of the truck,
I know the name
of the driver,
I even know
when he’s coming down the road.