The Doctor, Part 40

I wrote that my hands
feel
unfamiliar,
the tips of my fingers
the skin,
the nerves around the tips
extra tender,

it hurts
to touch things,

the chemo
brain
makes me more
uneven,
it gives me a
fuzzy focus,
my equilibrium
a pendulum,

my stomach is a nuclear plant
best fed
cooling rods
and maybe some coconut water
because everything else is
shitting knives, is
a pummeling
in the corner,

all these side effects
have the eerie
side effect
of echoing
tortures
meant to raise
devils from men
and at my weakest,
face
down,
the sense of guilt,
the burden of my failure
is a powerful boot in my back
when I’m
getting ready
to push away
from the canvas
for another round.

 

 

The entire The Doctor series can be found here.